oh how you move me

Sometimes I get this weird uncanny, but ever so safe feeling when listening to certain songs. What is that? How does it happen? And why? How come certain tunes are able to move you in mysterious ways?

The thing is, I can get pretty emotional at times and for that reason stay away from certain songs because they are too beautiful. Even though I have no recollection of the memory that invokes this feeling within me, it just feels so familiar. And so I begin to wonder and try to find that memory. What memory could possibly be a match to this feeling and tune? But I can't find it and yet I feel that I am longing for something. That I am missing someone who previously was with me. That I have been somewhere. Could this somewhere be heaven? Could this someone be the divine. Could this place be beyond physical existence, and that being the reason it moves me inside?

I imagine we were all dust once. Beautiful grains of dust, intermingling through infinity. At our births we took on these suits of physical appearance, to assist us with expressing the divine within us, and so when music moves us, it really moves us. The core of who we are.

And when we dance we understand each other in this magical way. We are speaking this language that has never been taught to us, and yet no one has to utter a word. Because it's all understood. And it's all good.

When we dance, we are free. I mean when we really dance and let go of every thought and all doubt - we are free. Because we Are. And that is perfect. You are already perfect

Something bad can change the world

I know this blog is about good news. But sometimes horrible things must be seen so that they can be changed.

I got to see this shortfilm this past saturday. I had made up my mind I did not want to watch something that would make me cry. I really did not want to cry but I sat through it, cried and felt that something has to be done. I felt helpless. But then I realized that there are others more helpless than me and that there is something I can do. I need to do. I can and need to be a voice for the ones without one.

I've probably scared you from watching this film now, but please don't be scared, please watch it. There's no stronger indicator than fear. If you fear something, or notice you want to avoid it, that's a sign your mind is trying to protect you from something that is not right. That is unjust. And as long as it remains that way - we can not live an honest life. Keeping our eyes open and breathing through discomfort is how we conquer pain and extend our awareness.

For beginners

I started my practice in September of 2009. When my friends ask me "why Ashtangayoga?" I can't tell them why,  but I know it was meant to be. It's a practice that feels familiar and comfortable, and I feel as though it has always been calling on me, like I've been doing it before.

As a "child" (I'm still a child, 22 years old) I was always very hyper, dancing ballet, being a pretzel and hanging from jungle gyms like a monkey. To become an acrobat was my dream and so I guess I'm living my dream right now, every morning, six days a week - and loving it! Backbends, handstands and headstands make me feel like when I was a kid and I am able to express my playfulness through my practice as well as cultivate my spirituality and how I interact with the world!

When I meet with friends I guess I'm a bit of a weirdo as I prefer to leave early, have my beauty sleep and wake up early for my practice! But my practice is my foundation and lets me meet the world in an open way and as my ultimate self! It's mandatory by choice... just like brushing my teeth! Sure, I might skip it once every decade, and it hasn't killed me but it sure feels a bit nasty, and a funnky breath never made anyone feel better! But I'll get through the day.
My point is, this is me after yoga: A++++, this is me on a day I haven't done my practice: A. My teeth will still look fancy if I don't brush them, but they sure look STUNNING when I do, also they are surronded by a fresh atmosphere. Very enlightened and peaceful teeth!
(These tooth metaphores end here.)

What I wanted to tell you as I started writing this post was that I have been practicing for quite a while (well, depending on how you look at it), and yet I feel that I am a beginner! There is still so much left to learn! Although there's an inner teacher in each and every one of us, even this teacher has knowledge we can't understand yet, and so I like to take the lyrics of this song (scroll down) to heart and mind and apply them to my practice, both on and off the math. With the lyrics in my mind I unleash my inner explorer and have fun with the practice instead of analyzing my moves and connecting bottled up emotions to them..

Here's an example:
The first time I came up in headstand (with moral support behind me) it went so smoothly! I had not been standing on my head for ten years and was both thrilled and surprised. BUT every single time I attempted to come up in a headstand after that first one it just wouldn't work. I began to analyze the headstand, the "dangers" and how it would feel to tumble down from it. All these emotions accumulated as weeks passed by and finally I took a break from headstand. To clear my mind, and to start out fresh. Once I felt the time had come I began doing headstands again. At first with a bit of moral support, but as my confidence grew (thanks to the rollercoaster also known as Garba Pindasana) I began taking on headstand little by little without any support and now a mere couple of months later I come up in a headstand all by myself and I feel so good about it! I now know I shouldn't think too much during practice. Instead, I approach it enthusiastically with the mindset of a beginner! Fresh fresh fresh :D

So here a good song for you:

Last day of home practice

Today was the third and final day of self practice at home (for now). Tomorrow the collective practice is on again after the holidays and I am so happy and looking forward to tomorrow :D Although I will (eventually - over time) develop a "better" home practice (focused & with a better rythm and flow) I have a really hard time being in the zone when I'm practicing at home, as there's nothing to divert my attention from (like surrounding things). I know this is a very good reason TO HAVE a home practice, but I am not in a hurry and so I don't need to rush it. Besides, there's nothing like sweating next to familiar strangers, enjoying their company while being emerged in your own ocean of breath!:D

I found these videos on youtube! I guess if you have a cuddly dog, it's a lot easier to do your practice in a place other than your home.. Although I wouldn't mind the company of a furry friend!

On being "too happy"

I just realized something. It's something I deep down inside of me already know and unconsciously apply to the way I interact with the world and the way I am. But sometimes certain people and circumstances kind of rock these values and peck on them at the edges.

But I've know made an aware decision, a solemn vow with myself to never EVER adjust my expressions or feelings to anyone else. Never to let anyone lessen my joy. Or should I say, that I will never compromise my true feelings to satisfy another persons opinion of who I should be or how I should behave.Some people are just not satisfiable and I'm really tired of focusing my energy on those who repel it.

I shall from now on consciously live in full expression of my self as a tribute to my life and the people around me! And if I can't satisfy you, I will give you a smile and keep on, "in joy-in' my company" BLINKBLINKwinkwink

Just imagine a world with a lot of similar people. If I'm being you, there's no me and that's not what life's about. It's about coming together as spirits alike but with different flavours & personalities!The common spirit is not this bland, monotone cloud. It's beautiful and vivid! It's alive!

The thing is, these past couple of weeks I have been feeling really light and euphoric. I am usually a happy person but this feeling has been on another level and the reason being I haven't been focusing my attention on assumptions made up in my mind or been living in the future of my illusions. I have simply been breathing and living, in the moment, the now, finding myself really aware of everything around me.. I think I would like to call this feeling inner peace. And I am so happy I found it! I thank everything that has ever happened and all the things that have shaped me!

LOVE AND LIGHT fly a kite!

ps. See this beautiful drawing of koinobori (a traditional Japanese event)

Born to be wild!

I guess I'll just jump right into my first post! And what an appropriate post it is! Today I did my first almost jump through! Three times :D I jump, almost land fully but instead of landing on my feet, I straighten my legs softly and my heels glide smoothly on the mat!

Something is different about my practice. I feel as though I have progressed! Just like that, all of a sudden things seem more obvious and I feel as though my body is an expert on what its doing and it feels good! It's so natural. And especially today everything was effortless and I barely thought at all! Thank you easy breathing and good flow! :D

Here, a clip to end this first post! It made me feel so happy and gave me a warm feeling in my heart! love and light to you all! love and light fly a kite! :D